Wish play party rules

Club Wish is run by a separatist non-profit organization for people who identify as women, trangender and/or intersex , who live with this/these identities in their every day lives and has an interest in BDSM and/or fetishism. To create spaces that are as safe as possible, there are rules that you need to follow.

Active Consent for play/sex

Make sure you have an active consent. Negotiation is a common way to do this: Ask for what you want and accept the answer. Make sure your play partner knows what you have consented to. The absence of a “no” doesn’t mean “yes”. If you feel unsure of your own or anyone else's consent: renegotiate, wait and/or change to a different activity where consent is more clear.

If someone says no thank you with a polite “perhaps next time” it is advisable to let that person approach you next time. Do not ever pressure or badger people to play.

Note that consent is context specific: Yes to a play you have negotiated is a yes to those specific activities at that given time, not to anything else and at any other point in time. You need to ask again if you want something else.

If someone doesn’t take your no seriously of make you feel like you “should” agree to something, to get their liking or to be included at the club, please know that this person is at fault. Don’t hesitate to seek support if you need it. See “In case of transgressions” at the bottom of the page.

Wish trygghetsvärdar and board members have the right to interrupt a scene if they feel uncertain weather everyone involved has consented.


Be discreet and respect privacy. Do not share other participants real names, kinks, life history, etc. with others unless you have their express permission to do so. Please be discreet and keep from discussing interactions and scenes that you weren´t a part of or mention names of participants.

All Wish activities are no recording zones. Don’t take photos or videos of participants or the venue itself. At some events there might be official photographers. They will only photograph/film those who have consented to it and in spaces where there will be no risk that others will be caught on camera. Phones are not allowed in the play venue. You may use your phone in designated areas, usually in the entrance area and wardrobe. Ask a volunteer if you are unsure. 

Dress code

Wish play party dress code is fetish, and/or inspired by a party theme. Minimum basic black (black clothes with minimal prints) is always passable. We encourage you to wear what you feel comfortable and hot in, that is interesting enough that it would turn heads if you walked down the street. Nudity is welcome, but please provide your own material for sitting on. The aim of the dress code is not to exclude, but rather to create atmosphere and make sure that people who prefer fetishwear don’t feel excluded.

Other events such as Wish Summer camp, section meets etc might have different or no dress code at all.


Use and respect safe words. The parties safe words are "YELLOW" - which means check in and “RED”, which means stop. The house non-verbal safe signal is a double tap-out, which means stop. You may of course also negotiate your own chosen safewords, but please make sure you know your play partners safewords before beginning a scene. If a safeword is given, play must be stopped immediately. On-lookers are encouraged to interfere or contact Wish volunteers immediately if they see or hear a safe signal and the play doesn ́t stop.


We do not allow for possession or use of illegal drugs or abuse of prescription drugs. Consumption of alcohol is permitted but we do not condone excessive drinking. Participants who have consumed a smaller amount of alcohol before play, are asked to notify potential play partners of this in advance.If a member find themselves drunk we ask them to stay away from designated play areas. 

Practice safe sex. 

This includes genital sex, anal sex, oral sex, hand sex, and toy sex. Safer sex supplies in the form of gloves and condoms (including latex free) will be provided, as well as surface disinfectants. Please use them as needed.

Practice safe play: 

Please plan for the play that you will be engaging and bring the safety supplies that will allow you to do the things you want to do. Please announce physical or psychological problems or sensitivities before a scene to those who are involved. If you are not sure on how to play the scene you want to play in a safe way, ask for help from others that are experienced in the activity you are planning on.

If you are planning to do riskier scenes or scenes that can trigger others, alert the party organizers so we can work together to find a suitable space for your play. A "spotter" that is not engaged in the scene, but standing ready in case of emergency, is required for all fire play scenes, and recommended for all riskier scenes.


Don't interrupt or disturb scenes/self-play/aftercare. Keep social conversations to the bar area and the surrounding stand-up tables. Unless there is an emergency do not interrupt others during or immediately after play. If you really need to ask players a practical question (like if it is ok that you play close to them), wait for the right moment and keep it short and tactful. Be aware that sometimes participants may be engaged in play or after care even if others can´t see it: If you feel unsure: ask if it is ok that you talk to them. If you wish to watch play, give after care or negotiate play in the play room, keep it quiet and keep a respectful (and safe) distance from those playing in the space.

Don´t touch any equipment that is not public or your own.

Clean up the play space when you have finished your scene.

Give and take feedback in a respectful way: We do not come from the same backgrounds and experiences and we do not all know the same things. Sometimes this leads us to say or do something that hurts someone else. This happens to all of us at times. We encourage participants to speak out in a non-confrontative way if they feel someone speaks or acts in a way that hurts others or makes others feel uncomfortable. We would like to encourage all participants to be open to feedback about ones own behavior, to take responsibility for ones own words and actions, to listen to and accept others views and opinions, even if they differ from ones own and that we all to try to understand each other and try to interpret each others intentions in the most positive way. 


Show respect for other members identities. We strive for Club Wish events to be a safe zone for all participants where everyone is treated with respect for who they are, and no participant is forced to defend or explain any part of their identities or life choices/history. Participants are asked to be aware of their language and behavior and to think about whether these may be harming others. If you find yourself not understanding the door policy, please ask a volunteer for assistance. Please keep an open mind, stay away from making negative statements and don´t question or make assumptions about other participants race, gender identity/expression, sexual/BDSM orientation, ability, age, class, relationship geometry, ethnicity, faith/beliefs or body type (these are examples and not an exhaustive list).

In case of transgression

The rules are minimum requirements and are here to keep us all safe. All suspicions and allegations transgressing the rules and/or of abuse or harmful behaviour on members, including volunteers, organizers or board members will be taken seriously, responded to swiftly and appropriately according to Club Wish safety - and inclusion policy. The party organizers on site have the authority to give a person a warning, or ask the person to leave. Wish board has the authority to revoce membership acording to Wish statues.

If rules are being broken, or if other transgressions are made, please notify the person breaking the rules and/or Wish volunteers or board members according to your own best judgement. We make Wish a safer space together!

Contact us!

In case of transgression, please contact Wish representatives. You can contact us anonymously.
● If you are at the club, contact a Wish representetive, usually wearing a white binder saying “WISH” on their arm. During camp or section meet, you can contact an organizer.
● E-mail to contact the board
● If a member of the board has transgressed, you can contact the election committee, ( the “Föreningsrevisor” (accountant/advisor) or another member of the board.

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